Reflections on The Artist’s Way, Week 10: Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection

This is the tenth post in a series on The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, a book and a self-study program developed by Julia Cameron in the 1990s. I’m looking back on Week 10: Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection.

This week, Cameron suggests we search out and deal with the toxic patterns that block our creative flow.

She splits the chapter into five parts—dangers of the trail, workaholism, drought, fame, and competition.

Dangers of the Trail

‘When we are clear about who we are and what we are doing, the energy flows freely and we experience no strain. When we resist what that energy might show us or where it might take us, we often experience a shaky, out-of-control feeling. We want to shut down the flow and regain our sense of control. We slam on the psychic brakes.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

In weeks one to nine of The Artist’s Way, we make the effort to discover our true essence as creative beings.

As we step into week ten, we’re tasked with learning to protect the treasure we’ve uncovered.

Once the outside risks are addressed with healthy boundaries, it’s the inside risks that might trip us up. Self-sabotage can appear in addictions to numb our vulnerable creative selves. Our questionable habits can keep us busy and away from taking aligned action.

We fear failure and we fear greatness, so we drink too much, over-work, eat sugary foods, wake up with strangers in our bed, and lose ourselves in cycles of unrequited love.

She suggests we consider our relationship to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, love addiction, and workaholism. She writes, ‘Every creative person has myriad ways to block creativity. Each of us favours one or two ways particularly toxic to us because they block us so effectively’.

‘We begin to sense our real potential and the wide range of possibilities open up to us. That scares us. So we all reach for blocks to slow our growth.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

She clarifies that these things in themselves are not the problem—it’s the abuse of them. I’ve probably (surely) used all of them at some point to distract myself from feeling, being, and doing what is in my best interest.

Workaholism

‘When we are really honest with ourselves we must admit our lives are all that really belong to us. So it is how we use our lives that determines the kind of men we are.’
— Cesar Chavez

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the seemly never-ending cycle of work, of a job. Each day, week, month, year is consistently punctuated by small hits of getting things done, meeting deadlines, and satisfying other people’s needs. Isn’t this what being an adult is all about?

That dazed feeling of shutting down after a challenging day while simultaneously preparing emotionally for another one tomorrow is bleak and familiar.

‘There is a difference between zestful work towards a cherished goal and workaholism. The difference lies less in the hours than it does in the emotional quality of the hours spent. There is a treadmill quality to workaholism. We depend in our addiction and we resent it.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

Cameron helpfully points out that workaholism is a process addiction—an addiction to a behaviour rather than a substance. In my own creative recovery, I’ve taken a hard look at my behavioural patterns. I’ve been addicted to, and casually dependent on, behaviours that don’t serve me.

I used to work three to 18-month contracts punctuated with occasional recovery breaks. I’d wear myself out at work, then take a few weeks or months to recover and feel like myself again. Then I’d go back to a job that didn’t suit me and become exhausted. It was a ridiculous way to live. I finally moved out of the cycle, realising it was keeping me from living a balanced and whole life. I now have a short-term and long-term way of approaching work that is aligned with who I am and what I am doing in the world.

Cameron suggests creating boundaries around work and setting a ‘bottom line’. For me, a boundary around work includes making sure I make time for exercise, meditation, sleep, and eating well. My bottom line for today is ‘I will not skip weight training at 6:30 pm’.

Once my bottom line is set for the day, I’ll select the most important tasks and make I’ve made good progress before I wrap up. Then accept that if I don’t finish any of the tasks, it will have to flow into the activities of the next day.

I’ve established a boundary around work that relates to my self-worth and self-care that echoes up through the day, reminding me that I care about myself. I communicate to myself (and the people around me) that I value myself.

Drought

‘In any creative life there are dry seasons. These droughts appear from nowhere and stretch to the horizon like a Death Valley vista. Life loses its sweetness; or work feels mechanical, empty, forced. We feel we have nothing to say, and we are tempted to say nothing. These are the times when the morning pages are most difficult and most valuable.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

The morning pages are an essential tool from The Artist’s Way, and often the tool that sticks around for the people who have started or made their way through the course. I do them most mornings and they are part of my creative recovery routine. Morning pages are helpful during periods when creativity is not flowing easily.

Creative drought can be confused with creative block. I’ve noticed a subtle, yet significant, difference between the two.

I use a drought period to rest, to explore, to wait for the next thing to come through. I keep making without expectation, trusting that something will appear on the horizon. I am sitting still or slowly moving in the right direction. It’s an in-between feeling—in-between towns, rain-showers, rivers, seasons, ideas, projects.

Creative block feels very different. I notice myself retracing my steps and spinning my wheels. It’s a misaligned feeling—shifty, entangled, confused, irritable, distrusting. I might be managing other people’s ideas of who and I am what I should be doing. I find myself doing activities that don’t feel right. My energy is pulled in competing directions. I’m resisting, yet playing along.

I’d rather be moving slowly (or staying still), than moving in the wrong direction. When I notice the early signals of block coming towards me, I stay still and readjust.

‘In a creative life, droughts are a necessity. The time in the desert brings us clarity and charity.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

Fame

‘Fame is not the same as success, and in our true souls we know that.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

Growing up, being a famous artist seemed important. In school, in museums, in popular culture, fame suggests significance. You’ve done something worth celebrating publicly, so it must be good! You’re a player now, notable, sponsored, desired, in demand, worthy.

Fame in itself has never really appealed to me, but recognition and being labelled a ‘good artist’ seemed to provide benefits and protections. Once I’ve been recognised, I thought, I can keep going. I would be allowed to be an artist because I had proven myself to the world.

I wanted the outside recognition so the inside would feel safe.

The real protection and allowing (and the one that is truly strong and forever renewable) is what we give ourselves, not what we receive from others. Society, family, friends, partners, bosses, award committees, institutions—they exist, but they cannot be the source of our worth as artists, as beings.

‘What we are really scared of is that without fame we won’t be loved—as artists or as people. The solution to this fear is concrete small, loving actions. We must actively, consciously, consistently, and creatively nurture our artist selves.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

By granting myself permission and protection, it suddenly became possible to turn up and do the work. I grant myself permission again, and again, connecting with the world as I need to.

Competition

‘Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased.’
— J. Krishnamurti

To compete, we’re required to look at what others are doing instead of keeping the focus on ourselves. It’s a tricky thing that can trigger lots of complex emotions—jealousy, pride, confusion, envy, anger.

Moved out of the shadows, competition can also serve as a way of seeing possibility in the world. If them, why not me? It can support the exploration of useful emotions—hopefulness, affinity, clarity, compassion, joy. When approached with grace and detachment, competition can help us grow and stretch further.

Cameron talks about going within instead of looking without for direction. ‘The desire to be better than can choke off the simple desire to be. As artists we cannot afford this thinking. It leads us away from our own voices and choices into a defensive game that centers outside of ourselves and our sphere of influence, It asks us to define our own creativity in terms of someone else’s.’

We must set our own course and walk our own path.

I am not a naturally competitive person. When I notice myself feeling competitive, it’s an early signal of two things. I’m either insecure or misaligned. I am enviously wanting things that aren’t meant for me. I force myself back to the painful truth—if something is meant for me then I have to find the patience and determination to wait and work for it.

‘If the demand to be original still troubles you, remember this: each of us is our own country, an interesting place to visit. It is the accurate mapping out of our creative interests that invites the term original. We are the origin of our art, its homeland. Viewed this way, originality is the process of reaming true to ourselves.’
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, Week 10

Ready to start The Artist’s Way?

You may also enjoy …

Featured

Creative Affirmations and The Artist’s Way

As a facilitator for Julia Cameron’s renowned book The Artist's Way, one of the most powerful tools I share with participants is the Creative Affirmations. These positive statements aim to counteract the negative self-talk and doubts that can hold back artists and creatives.